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Can you avoid a family court when getting divorced?

Everyone suffers when a marriage ends. When children are involved, it can be quite upsetting. That is one of the reasons why an increasing number of divorcing couples are looking for ways to avoid Family Court, where traditionally a judge would rule on issues such as custody, visitation rights, and child support.

Couples who end up in Family Court are frequently lured into a protracted legal struggle that can be both costly and emotionally draining. If you are getting divorced and want not to go to court, following methods may be useful.


1. Consider mediation

Mediation, a process in which you work out the terms and conditions of your settlement — whether it is the custody of the children or distribution of the assets — with the help of a neutral third-party mediator saves time and money over going to court, and you keep control.

Furthermore, a divorce proceeding in family court becomes public record. For high-net-worth individuals, celebrity clients, or other people in the public eye, settling out of court in private mediation keeps their divorce specifics ‘under wraps’ and provides them greater choice over disseminating any news.


2. Explore collaborative form of divorce

A significant difference between collaborative approaches and standard contested divorce is a written vow by both spouses to be part of a respectful process solving difficulties together to preserve the family’s integrity.

The greatest upside is that there is no court and the cost is considerably less. But there are disadvantages too. When your spouse triggers you at the wrong points during financial negotiations, the issue is learning to bite your tongue and repress your rage.

Get in touch with acollaborative divorce lawyer. Although any lawyer can provide collaborative divorce services, a family law attorney who is trained and educated in collaborative divorce has a more extensive grasp of the law and can produce a robust, future-proofed divorce settlement.


3. Have the willingness to negotiate

Refusing to negotiate with your spouse can result in increased stress, growing legal fees, and very probably a trip to Family Court. While you may believe that is what you want, insisting on your day in court could drag your divorce on for probably years and will drain your pockets. Not to mention the massive emotional drain and a relative inertia in moving on as your case might drag for years.

If you’re battling over who gets custody of the kids, it is important to know that courts are increasingly understanding that it is in a child’s best interests to preserve relationships with each of their parents. Unless there are accusations of domestic violence or drug use, the court will almost certainly order shared custody. That is probably an agreement you can reach on your own, with the assistance of a mediator.


Some important points to remember

While the methods above are quite wholesome, we advise you to take a special note of the following things. They will most certainly help your cause of not going to a family court.

  • Choose to put aside your differences in order to prioritize your children.
  • Understand that the judicial system is not a tool for punishing an unfaithful spouse. In most cases, an affair has minimal bearing on who gets what in a divorce.
  • Don’t use shark lawyers! Any prospect of a smooth discussion is gone if you select an attorney who pledges to “take your ex to the cleaners.”
  • Find a creative, solution-oriented attorney to assist you in determining when to negotiate and when to stand firm.
  • Choose an experienced divorce attorney who is concerned with the broader picture: getting you to a point of peace and stability in your life while also preserving your relationship with your children.
  • Respect one another’s privacy. Nothing like a furious Facebook post from one spouse to disrupt what was looking like an amicable divorce.



A more regimented method of going to the court may be preferred in high-conflict divorces. However, if the scenario is uncomfortable but not tense, you’re usually best off avoiding it.

Remember that in court, the bulk of decisions about custody, financial support, and asset distribution will be made by someone you’ve probably never met before. It’s not ideal. And it is usually something you and your ex can agree on.



Zaraki Kenpachi